The next time a man holds the door open for you, know it is because he is trying to make up for something horrible he has done.
Everything we do is to compensate for something else. Every good trait we fake; we pretend to have, is to black out the truth of what we've done. Mask upon mask. Business men that surround themselves with sports cars, Italian suits, and a luxurious apartment are constantly trying to convince themselves that they are not alone. Not alone from taking advantage of so many people, not alone from cheating their way to the top, not alone from ignoring everything real and focusing on work all the time. Neglecting the family that doesn't exist. And never will.
We are all this business man. To what degree is the only difference. Every small favor, every minute act of humility, every single shred of compassion is to counteract what we've done in the past. Balance through compensation. Metaphysics 101. Know that the next time someone picks up the pencil you've dropped, it's a balancing act.
We must constantly buy these things, and perform these actions to try to convince ourselves that we've changed. Pat yourself on the back for every good deed you do, thinking it will be the last. Hoping to live the rest of your life balanced. This is what we tell ourselves.
Constantly lying to ourselves.
Constantly in balance.
Constantly imbalanced.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
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